The Gadiel Del Orbe Show

Tantra Intimacy Coach: Intimacy & Real Talk on Sex (w/ Black Rose & Zipporah, Tantra Intimacy Coach + Somatic Therapist) #10

Episode Summary

Tantric sex educator Zipporah and comedian Black Rosa join Gadiel for a candid, myth-busting convo about what tantra really is—and how it can strengthen relationships. We break down the core ideas (breath, presence, connection), practical ways tantra can help repair trust, reduce anxiety, and bring partners back into sync, plus the most common misconceptions (it’s just about sex, it’s a religion, it’s only for couples). In this episode we go deep on conscious intimacy: what Tantra actually is (beyond sex), how to “set the container” (breathwork, music, scent, touch), why slowing down skyrockets pleasure, and practical ways couples can reconnect. Zippora shares insights on sexual healing, somatic therapy, consent, boundaries, heart-centered orgasms, and why alcohol can numb connection while small, intentional cannabis doses may enhance it. We also unpack porn’s impact on desire and performance, communicating kinks without shame, first-date timing, and why the chase (and mystery) still matter. Plus: shibari basics, play-party etiquette, and choosing partners with intention. What you’ll learn Tantra as a lifestyle: presence, ritual, and the five senses Concrete pre-intimacy rituals that boost chemistry Emotional safety, consent, & communicating desires Porn vs. real intimacy; performance anxiety & rewiring dopamine Cannabis-assisted Tantra 101 (microdosing, not numbing) If this convo helped, drop your takeaway in the comments, hit subscribe, and rate the pod ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️. New episodes every Wednesday.

Episode Notes

In this episode, Gadiel sits down with Black Rose and Zipporah (Tantra Coach & Somatic Therapist) for a raw and eye-opening conversation on what Tantra really is—and what it isn’t.

We dive into:

The truth about Tantra as a lifestyle (beyond just sex)

How to create deeper intimacy through ritual, breathwork, and intention

Healing sexual shame and breaking free from porn conditioning

Why slowing down increases pleasure (for men AND women)

The role of cannabis and mindfulness in heightening sensuality

The importance of consent, boundaries, and open communication in relationships

Real talk on sex clubs, shibari, and conscious celibacy

Zipporah shares powerful insights from her work as a coach and therapist, while Gadiel and Black Rose bring humor, honesty, and curiosity to the table. Expect laughs, vulnerable moments, and a whole new way of thinking about intimacy.

If you’ve ever wondered what Tantra really means—or how to upgrade your sex life with more depth, connection, and fun—this episode is for you.

Follow Zippora: @zippora.thehighpriestess

Follow Black Rose: @iamblackrosenyc

Episode Transcription

0:00 What up y'all? Two of my favorite people here. Hey. Oh, you know I know you guys not the 0:06 first females. You're the But I made up because I got two in one. Okay. Okay. You know what I'm saying? So, we got 0:13 Black Rose in the house. You know what I'm saying? I'mma do two episodes of Black Rose 0:20 tomorrow. We got Da Vinci. So, it's going to be fun. And we we got the 0:25 goddess in arms. 0:32 She's been a really good friend of mine for a very long time. How long we've been friends? I don't know, a couple years. We got Sapora in the house. Colombana, 0:39 can can I can I say that you're a tantric sex expert? Can you say that? Sure. Coach and therapist. 0:46 I love that. Trans a what? Can tantra coach and somatic therapist? Bodywork therapy. 0:53 Okay. Okay. Bodywork therapy. You got to add the sound like Yeah, I'm not doing all that. Uh, 1:03 yeah, I'm excited to have both. I'm like, yo, this is going to be a fun episode. I'm like, Black Rose, 1:14 but a lot of rebel, right? Let's see. You know, you've been killing it on social media, all over the 1:19 place, too, out here, though. You know what I'm saying? So, you're hilarious. Gracias. Gracias. Right. Also, you with the hookup. We're 1:25 in the Dominican. We just came from the Dominican parade. Listen, we got to talk about that after. We're going to end the show talking 1:30 about it or you want to start it. Oh, whatever you want. Oh my god. It's free flowing. You know, no power to to the next level yesterday. 1:38 That was Yes. But for her, we had energy. We had energy for everybody for the goddess. I said, I am there. 1:44 I levitated over here. Yeah. We got done I think at 10 10:00 at night. 1:51 A friend of mine. You're not outside. My feet hurt. I got home. I was like, "No." Yeah. Yeah, we don't have the same energy. 1:56 Matter of fact, like I'm the type of dude like we were talking about it last night. We were like we went to parties afterwards. Like there was two parties. 2:02 There was Cafe Kado and after that there was like something called Koko in New York City NYC. And what they do is like 2:08 they have monthly parties like a whole bunch of Dominicans get together and they all dancing 2:15 like it's fun like and you see a lot of young cats dancing like me and all this 2:21 extra stuff. It's pretty cool. I'm glad you got to experience it. I'm happy. I'm glad that Thank you for 2:26 bringing me there. CL, you know. So, also like, you know, you know, I've learned a lot from you, 2:32 Saboro. Like, back in the day, her and I go way back. Like, I went through like a little heartbreak and she was there for 2:38 me. You see what I'm saying? Like, I was so down on my luck. And I was like, Yanni. And then she was like, you know, 2:44 she we done all this healing and she taught me the ways a lot of things when 2:49 it comes to tantra and what it means and what the therapy is because I always thought like tant truck sex was like oo 2:57 it's all about fucking oh no no you know what would you say tantruck tantric is 3:04 like it's tantric tantra tantra yeah it's a way of living it's a lifestyle it's about making everything 3:10 an intention everything you do okay including including intimacy, including 3:15 making your coffee in the morning, including what you're going to work out to and what you're going to focus and 3:20 concentrate on. It's just about living with intentions. And then when it comes to intimacy, ritualizing it, 3:27 especi especially when it comes to the sex, sexuality, adding some uh spiritual 3:33 elements into it. We're not going to be doing tantra live 3:40 right now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not here. I hear it, but we could talk about it. 3:46 They'll block us real quick. Um, okay. So, what like what would you say? So, I 3:53 when I first thought about tantra, I learned a lot from you because uh I remember that I for me it was like it 3:59 was all about sex, right? And you taught me like it's more than sex. It's more of 4:05 like sensuality and being in touch because it's like a a like a sexual side 4:10 to you, right? There's a sexual energy and especially that you always talk to me about like us men, we don't get to 4:17 experience that sexual side of things, right? So what where you were telling me 4:22 about it how it came about? Okay. Well, how it came about? Yeah, you were tell talking to me how it 4:27 came about. Like how did she get into it? You mean like how did she start exploring it? No, like like she was telling me like it 4:34 was like some therapy about war. Oh, okay. So, back in the ancient times, 4:40 they used to have these sex temples where they would practice the the sacred sexual arts and then 4:47 there would be tantric priests and priestesses doing healing and and teaching the sexual arts and and then 4:54 the wounded soldiers were would come and so they would work on them and heal 4:59 them before sending them out into society all traumatized. That's probably what you're referring to. Yeah. So, so 5:06 it's it's getting sexual healing, sexual healing. How how important you think it is that 5:12 you think everybody should be trying that like sometimes? I think we all need it. Yeah. Because with all the clients that I receive who 5:18 have experienced childhood sexual abuse and with all the pedophilia that's going on behind closed doors, 5:24 there's a lot of shadows with sexuality and especially with the religion and the Catholic Church 5:30 conditioning people think saying that you know sexuality is harmful and dangerous and sinful and I mean a lot of 5:37 people are carrying around shame and guilt and fear around their sexuality. And a lot of people have this distorted 5:45 way and lustful way with their sexual energy where it controls them and 5:50 they're leaky with it and they're just giving it the ne you know the the first impulse of having desire. they 5:57 don't know what to do with that. And you know, it's it's also about learning how to control that energy so you can have 6:03 full control over it and make good decisions and not get involved with the wrong people. Because once you open 6:10 yourself up to others in a sexual way, then you're just inviting in 6:16 all these soul ties and bonding with people you don't necessarily need to be 6:22 bonding with. Exactly. if they're not in alignment, if they're not good for you, then I mean the the more slower we can take our 6:28 intimacy, the better decisions we can make and more clearer. 6:34 Yeah. But I feel cuz I feel like us men, especially Latino men, like our idea is 6:44 and it was it was it's all about like, yo, I would have sex with her, but it's never been like what she's all about. 6:52 What kind of energy she bringing to the table? You see what I'm saying? Like we don't talk about none of that shit. Or are you even ready? 6:58 Yeah. Or am I ready? Yeah. What is your energy? Not you personally, but men. Like the men, right? The men. But it was like we 7:05 us men don't think about none of that. No. They don't think. Yeah. They don't think about one thing. 7:13 There's there's this one down the one down there and the one down there makes bad decisions, 7:18 right? And sometimes the mind wants to hurry up and take her to the room 7:23 and then the body's not ready. So then they experience per performance anxiety 7:28 and it doesn't get up or it goes limp and it's because like they're rushing into it. 7:34 Yeah. Oh yeah. It's it's they're operating from the mind. And what kind of things you seeing with 7:39 especially like do you see more do you see men participating in things like this or is it more women? I get couples. I get everybody. But you 7:47 mean participating in what? And like the ceremony. Oh, you mean in in exploring tantra and 7:53 learning about Yeah. Um, no. Everybody I I see all types of 7:58 people. And um the good thing is that people are craving this work now. Yeah. 8:04 They're less afraid. Um there's still the people that like they they do think it's all 8:10 sexreated. It's a misconception and really it's just a little piece of it. But the more you learn how to practice 8:19 meditation, breath work, mindfulness, which is all related to tantra, especially yoga, 8:24 yeah, the better the sex gets. It it it really like these practices are a combination 8:30 of for different foreplay. And so it just makes everything more like 8:36 heightened, your sensitivity, your pleasure. Like you look, you you feel like you're about to like burst out. I always say 8:43 like I don't judge Ben or or my relationships like the first time I am intimate with someone especially if 8:50 they're not that open like I don't even judge like you know some people be like oh no he didn't put it down I was like it's 8:57 too soon see women are expecting this now it's too soon like it takes a little time to learn each other's bodies right 9:03 like am I right or wrong like oh yeah I mean I think we all need to slow the fuck down and the breaks down 9:09 when getting to know each other I think uh Like, 9:15 man, I was just telling somebody that like somebody I went on a couple dates and they were holding my hand the whole 9:21 time, but like so prematurely, too. Yeah. And it made me question, okay, what is this attachment or this clinginess? 9:27 Mhm. And it's because I've I've done the the conscious celibacy, which means 9:33 Yeah. I I started focusing on myself rather than, you know, 9:39 meeting other people and and going on dates and exploring other men. And I just kind of like closed up my womb 9:45 space for a while to work on my purpose. And so going back into the dating game, 9:50 I'm seeing how people rush it and it's actually turning me off because it's like there's what 9:58 we're rushing into this like premature uh physical affection without 10:07 you experiencing any reward. Like yeah, there's you have to build up to it and 10:13 and we're just bypassing all of that. So it kind of kills the sass. Yes. 10:18 One thing I like though that you were telling me like when you started talking to me about tantra, right? And I was you're like, "Yo, there's different 10:24 senses." Yeah. I'm like the only sense I think about is my peepee. Right. Your peepee. 10:30 I don't know why I said peepee. My dick. The fact that you said your pee has a sense, but like I get what you mean. 10:36 Like the feeling. But like the feeling of that. And then she And then she was like, "Yo, 10:42 watch this this show on Netflix, I think." Right. And and it was about these couples and 10:47 you know Goop with Goop. No. Ah it with Gwynne Paltro. Okay. Now I got to watch it. 10:54 Okay. Yeah. And it was like they brought these couples in, right? And these different couples like they didn't come. They they 11:01 there's couples there that never had an orgasm, right? Even the guy didn't know what kind of orgasms they had, bro. Like and 11:07 they were like some dudes were like people get off from sounds. People orgasm from sounds, bro. 11:15 Yeah. Sounds and air and blowing on somebody 11:21 and different types of to touch certain types of touch. And they're doing furthers. And there was this black dude 11:27 crying cuz it's like I never experienced anything like this ever. Yeah. Most people don't realize like how 11:32 much is available to us when it comes to like our cosmic orgasmic potential. Mhm. 11:37 And um yeah, the the senses he's talking about is like the five senses, which are 11:43 touch, smell, taste, what what else? Oh, yeah. 11:48 Seeing, vision, vision. Uhhuh. And what's the last one? Hearing. Yeah. And then and the sixth one is pee pee. 11:54 No, the sixth one. The sixth one. That's maybe the seventh. The sixth one 12:00 is the the sixth sense. Yeah. The third eye. Like the third eyeu. Okay. Uh-huh. the traveling interdimensionally 12:08 because tantra can get people there. Girl, I've I didn't know that I had gotten there. I I was with this one guy 12:15 seven years and it was a bit of an on and off situation, but he is one of the only uh 12:23 person that I've been intimate with that I felt the whole, you know, like the energy going 12:30 from him to me. Okay. Yeah. Like I felt it like it was like a a wave. It's called a microcosmic orbit. 12:36 Yeah. And when I feel it, I will feel it and then I will see him feel it and and I was just like, "Wow." Like we done 12:42 tapped into something else. And the energy like I've 12:48 yet to feel that with someone else. Um and I long for that. I I think of 12:53 those. And he's the only one that ever gave me a titty orgasm. You had a titty orgasm? Yes. It exists. And and it's crazy 13:00 because sometimes I'll tell people that cuz that's just an experience that I've never been able to forget. He's the only 13:05 one that's ever gotten me. Our connection was that strong. And 13:10 literally like I or Wait a minute. So what was it that he was doing? 13:15 He was he was sucking on some titties. But it's just the way that he was doing 13:21 it. Was he massaging? It was like massaging and and like his it was so sensual. And each time before 13:28 he even touched like his lip even got to my like I was just feeling it. And then he kept doing that. It was like a 13:35 repetition. And I orgasm. I I orgasm out of somebody just like 13:40 playing. Yes. And no one's ever been able to do that. And it's a different type of orgasm cuz it's in the heart space cuz it's right 13:46 around her heart chakra. And most guys will bypass spending a lot of time on the breast. They'll just go to the air. 13:52 No, I spend a lot of time. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. All day. 14:04 So what is like what what caused that? Like I I Yeah. What is it? What's the scientific? Your heart was open and he was spending 14:11 a lot of time there. And yeah, not many people can do that to you. So it's good that he was able to bring 14:16 you there. And it's it's just more expansive this orgasm. It's a different kind like where 14:23 it could last a little bit longer. I can feel like maybe whole body, but definitely 14:30 girl. I felt like that moment with the cone heads. Uhhuh. Remember when there 14:37 that's I was like, "Oh, that's what that like." Yes. Yes. That's hilarious. 14:43 I got So what you think allowed that to happen? Is it because he created a space or is like is or is it because she was 14:49 that comfortable? Yeah, she felt comfortable. He they created this space together and I don't 14:56 know maybe he might have been stimulating her breast um unlike other people. Were you high 15:01 before were did you smoke a little bit? Always. Okay. Always there was some ganja involved. 15:07 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was a routine. Uh-huh. And guys can get this too. It's not just 15:13 the breath. Like y'all can get heart orgasms. Heart gas. I never had a girl suck on my titties. 15:19 I'm like me too. I have to f them. No, no, yeah. Oh, no. I like when a man is like, "Yes, 15:25 go for it." And I'm like, "Bro, right puppy." 15:31 Yeah. Me, too. You say, "Yeah, look at her face. I like She's like, I like to do a little breastfeeding." 15:41 That's why. So, for me, you know, I remember those ones like like, you know, I was with some shorty, right? You know, 15:48 and there was a time that that I like I got so emotional after like, you know, orgasm. I think it was the first time 15:55 like me feeling like an orgasm. I was like, "What is this, bro?" And I even felt like crying, 16:00 right? And I was like, "What the hell is this feeling?" And like there was only like this one girl that I felt that, 16:06 right? And I was like, "What is that feeling?" Right. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, and I've been 16:12 with other girls and you know, I think for us guys, it's always like once I cut 16:17 my orgasm, right? But this time, like I was so emotional, I cried. 16:24 Was there a buildup leading to this ejaculation? Like did you were you 16:29 practicing not coming for a while before that? I'm just asking if there was a like a 16:35 gradual buildup. I don't know that happened with this specific girl. I I wouldn't remember that, but I was like 16:40 I It was just It's something that never like it never happened before. And I was It was weird. Yeah. And she was like, "You just had an 16:46 orgasm." That's what that was. I think it was more than just an orgasm. Then what was it? 16:52 Was it therapy that But did it last a little bit longer? Was it more like holy? It felt holy. 16:58 Okay. Yeah. So behind 17:07 No, like Yeah. So that's what like divine love making is. If two people are really in it together and I mean 17:15 obviously when you go into it with more intention if and if there's love behind 17:20 it and and you're devo practicing devotion on that other person like in in 17:26 the act it could take you into those transcendental states where it could 17:32 feel psychedelic. It could feel like you're on a trip with an orgasm or if like it could feel 17:38 like you're in heaven. For some people, the orgasm can last a long time. And 17:44 that I mean that's what reaching divinity is all about through sex is is reaching levels of God. That's 17:52 why when people say, "Oh my god," sometimes they're they're reaching those levels of enlightenment. 17:58 And it's because it's you're merging two souls to become one. M 18:03 and to reach communion. So it's another way of accessing the 18:08 divine which is why the church doesn't like talking about it because sexual energy 18:14 is really powerful when people learn to do it with intention. I got a question for you. Like so let's 18:20 say I'm in a marriage like somebody's listening like I'm in a marriage. I'm in a relationship already. Like what do you recommend them to try and do to change 18:27 their sex life? Let's say we got a mundane like the sex has become a little mundane. Yeah. What can a person do to change that? 18:34 Okay. Well, they can set the space like the container. So, do the things that 18:41 will awaken all the senses like what we talked about. So, have a nice non-toxic incense. Have a candle 18:49 lighting up. That's the fire. Um, have, you know, water nearby. You want definitely want to have a lot of water. 18:55 Like, stay stay away from the alcohol cuz that just numbs people up. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And then you don't remember. Why 19:00 wouldn't you want to remember? I agree. Yeah. So, do you think that that alcohol impairs sex? For sure. 19:07 But I feel like it makes it easier. No. Well, then you have to figure out why it's so hard for you. Or maybe it's 19:12 just not the time at that moment. Yeah. No. No. No alcohol. No alcohol at all. 19:18 Not Not when you're about to die. But there's some people like that. I met girls that was like, "God, like I can't have sex if I don't have alcohol in me." 19:26 That's like No, I mean is it because they got something to work on on them? Like is that 19:32 she has to get intoxicated? Intoxicated to be like not drunk, but like not with me, but I'm 19:37 like the album. That's just where she's at in her 19:43 evolution, you know? Yeah. Like she was like with all her exes and she was like, "Yo, like like she she's 19:49 like like normally like she's dry. I think she's very dry and I think when she drinks it loosens 19:55 her up a little bit. I thought she was talking something else was dry. Like you might need to, you 20:02 know, a little foreplay, a little something else. Drink some water, pH balances, you know, 20:07 right? Like so I would advise maybe just a little ganja instead of the poison. 20:15 Okay. And and when I'm doing this, I'm not saying clock it. I'm going agree. Even in Mexico that means yes. 20:22 Yeah. So yeah, because it it drops the inhibitions, it drops the guards down, especially when people are nervous. A 20:28 just even like a micro dose of inhalation of cannabis will do the trick and that's why I use it in my practice. 20:35 So you mean to tell me like like so weed will make sex better? 100%. Are you serious? 20:41 Yes. It's an aphrodesiac. It's an aphrodesiac. 20:46 It's an aphrodesiac. There's so many people that smoke weed right before having sex without even thinking twice 20:51 about it. And the reason is it opens up our sensuality. For real. Yeah. And it gets us to slow down. And 20:57 so that's tantric sex, going slow and enjoying it, every kiss, every lick, and 21:04 having the music on. So back to the container, setting the right music, the right frequencies, like something 21:11 romantic or sexy, sensual. Remember sensual trip? Yeah. Yeah. She was she was dope. like she 21:17 taught me like like using up coconut oil and being you know sensitive but 21:23 and then what they could do is they they can play like these different intimacy games where 21:29 grab each other's hand like this and then set the timer and then look into each eyes each other's eyes for three 21:36 minutes where we can put our hands hard like that 21:41 and then without in through the nose I'm in love I'm in love Hey, I'm I'm gay 21:47 now. It's starting already. I was just working on her. Yeah, it's it worked. So, starting like that, like these 21:53 little these Maybe I'll I'll pass you some some stuff that you can give to your viewers like a 21:58 little like starter. I have a question. My bad. Ask a question. 22:03 I I've experienced this thing where and it has happened whether I feel like 22:12 the sex was good or bad. Um maybe like the first time with some people that I 22:18 might be intimate with. I feel like almost like I'm gonna throw up. What is this? 22:23 That that is your body telling you they're they're your body does not want to hand itself over to that person. At 22:30 least in that moment. My Okay. So there was this one guy. Okay. And I was dating the guy that I was 22:39 the guy that I was dating on and off for seven years. Um, the reason why I was on on an off is he wasn't like making it 22:45 solid and I was just like, I need to start dating other people cuz me literally this past seven years was only 22:51 sleeping with him and I don't know exactly what he could have been doing out there. So, I did let some guy take me on a 22:58 date. He was came out of nowhere cuz I'm not like looking for it, but he came out of nowhere. He was so sweet. We went on 23:03 a few dates back to back. Anyways, a few weeks later, we end up he gets like a 23:10 woman, the New Yorker, and he's like trying to impress me, right? And I'm like, "Wow, this guy is handsome. He's like African but speaks 23:18 French, a prince in my eyes." Girl, I took a shower. He comes in. It 23:26 doesn't The piece looks smaller than I'm ever used to. And I was just like, "All right, maybe he's a grower, not a 23:32 shower." And at the moment that he tried to like go 23:38 in, it wasn't it was like popping right back out. Let's just say like and and like right there like something just 23:44 like came over my body and I felt nauseous. I was just like he was like, 23:50 "Are you okay?" I was like like I was like I don't I don't know. Like I need to breathe right now. Like I need Are you serious? 23:55 I needed him to get the fuck off me. Not like it's not like he could perform anyways. Like I guess my I think I have 24:02 the biggest butt, but that's her body speaking through her like you know when you get the gut instinct. So that's her body telling 24:09 her, "Hey, this is not the one. Don't don't." And then some sometimes or a lot of 24:14 times us women, we bypass our intuition or our gut feeling and then we do the thing. 24:20 But what did you did you go out? We didn't even finish. I just kind of 24:26 went to sleep and then the next morning I I was so ready to just leave and he's like, "Oh, let's me take you to 24:31 breakfast downstairs." I'm like, "Oh my god, I can't get rid of this guy." And after that, he would call me on the 24:37 phone and he wanted too much. He was like, "Yeah, and I'm going to move to S um North Carolina and I want you to move 24:42 in with me." And I'm like, "What are you talking about?" Oh, he was in love. 24:48 What? How are you in love with me? And we like had like three weeks 24:54 and guys say a lot of things too just to Yeah. What do you mean? We be honest. 25:03 But to wrap that up. Yeah. The body's very intelligent. It's a technology and so it communicates with us. 25:09 Okay. Through these signals. I got I got a question. So she she said something very important. She said, you know, what about guys with little dicks? 25:16 And she was like, yo, she he can't perform anyways. What can a guy with with a small peep do to satisfy a woman 25:23 like and eat some pussy? Get really good at that. Get really really good at fingering, at touching, 25:31 massaging, at all the other things. Yeah. And I mean there are there's different 25:36 options. There's there's penis enhancers. There's 25:42 um there's even dildos that you can put over your cock. 25:49 So you're like, so so I I was looking for something like, yo, what he should do is use this technique. No, you're 25:57 like, no, put something to make it bigger. Yeah, he could still orgasm with a 26:03 little beep. He can become an expert in the other things on how a woman. 26:08 Yeah, but like how to touch it. Mo, a lot of guys don't know how to touch or finger or massage. 26:14 What's the best way to touch a woman? This is not a how-to right now. 26:19 No, I'm saying like like if you're a guy that you don't know like what's the best way, come to me and I'll teach you on her 26:25 body. It really depends on the female. Maybe some females might like it rougher, some females might like it softer. Like it it 26:32 really depends. But that's the thing, couples don't know how to communicate with each other and tell them what they really want without 26:38 like feeling shame about exposing some fetish or kink. Or some people just don't know what they 26:45 want. Mhm. They haven't had to express their desires cuz nobody's really ever asked them 26:50 like, "But what is it do that you truly want me to do to you right now?" Yeah. Mhm. 26:56 So, set those boundaries off the gate. Like, have those uncomfortable conversations. I'm like, I'm big on 27:01 let's have all the uncomfortable conversations early on. And that's something that I learned as being a 27:07 people pleaser. I used to just kind of like go with the flow and see. And I'm not like now I'm trying to flow with a 27:13 purpose. I'm not trying to sound like I'm like being this mom energy or or or 27:18 nagging or anything. I just want to know what you want like and uh what you like 27:24 me to do to you and vice versa. I want to tell you what my boundaries are and what I like. I want to have those 27:30 conversations. And I think a man is mature when he does that and and and I 27:35 and I see it now. I see it like, oh wow, he's mature. This is not scaring him away, 27:41 you know? Like I don't know if you want a finger by your butt or not, you know, but if you know I'm licking a gu and my 27:48 tongue goes down by mistake. Do you like that? Do you eat ass? Gu? Oh, like do I eat? I'm not like a 27:54 ass eater, but like if I'm by the guch and some, you know, slips a little bit like I'm not 27:59 Nobody using Nobody else is using that mic after that. Listen, I I I haven't done that in a 28:06 long time. That was like it happened with one person. Um, and cuz I felt very 28:12 Yeah. Right. But it's so funny when I see men like eat ass. 28:17 Make sure you stay away from my ass because they don't want to come across as gay, you know. And I'm like, 28:23 "No, it's cool. It's okay to eat ass. If I like it, you like it, too. I'm, you know, we're humans. We pretty much have 28:29 very similar sensors." Yeah. Yeah. So, let me play with you a little bit. More down there, 28:35 right? Mhm. Come on. That's where the pea spot is. Yeah. the little his the So, so do you get a lot of guys that 28:42 like I want to try this? Are you do you sneak it in there? Like what do you do? Do I sne No, I don't sneak anything in. 28:49 What do you mean that's rape? Oh, wait. Grape. Sorry. 28:55 So, I So, let's say let's say you go I go on a date with a girl, right? When is the best time to be like, "Yo, 29:03 let's have sex." Do you believe in sex on the first date or you be like, "No, not I mean I I know it happens. I 29:10 know it happens and I know people stay with each other after that and they have successful relationships, but I wouldn't recommend it." 29:16 And when is the best time to have sex? No, there's no best time. I think you just have to feel that person out. Everybody's unique and you just have to 29:24 you have to get to know her first and see if she's even somebody that you want to connect with on that level 29:30 because you also have to protect your own precious energy. M. So, it's not all about her and pleasing 29:35 her. It's about you, too. Like, who do you want to let into your world? You know that women bond a lot faster 29:42 than guys do. That's true. So, do you want the wrong chick attached to you? I mean, I know some guys operate 29:49 selfishly. So, I mean, they're just always ready for a kill. They're just That's true. We always ready. 29:54 They're just always ready for a kill. Us guys, we think cuz I'm like, "Okay, we're going to go on this date, then we 30:01 go over there, and then we're like, we if I bring her to the crib, you know, this is when we could have sex." So, 30:06 it's like we do plan around things around sex, you know, and we think about sex first. But don't you feel shitty afterwards 30:13 sometimes? Like you feel even worse. Yes. Depends who it is. Depends like if 30:19 depends on the energy or who I'm sleeping with. There was a time that that was like sleeping with multiple 30:25 like different girls, right? And afterwards it felt empty and that's when it was like, "Oh, I can't do this." 30:32 Yeah. So, I spent that's when I spent a long time without having sex afterwards. Yeah. And and when we give it up too 30:40 soon to the guys, then that chase is over and then you don't like them as much. That's true. 30:45 And so, you're killing the desire right there and the mystery. So, it's just like you're not you're doing a 30:50 disservice for the both of y'all. Yeah. Damn. I didn't even think about it like that. Value yourself a little more. 30:56 The masculine wants to chase. They want a court. They want the challenge. Why is it some guys some girls sleep 31:03 with some guys faster cuz they don't like them as much. So, they think that they just are going to, 31:09 you know, get satisfied as well. Mhm. That's the first thing I could say to 31:15 you like as you were even before you finished. Yeah. Because there some there's some guys there's some girls who be like, 31:21 "Okay, I'll sleep with this guy faster, but this guy they hold out and they hold out." Why is that? 31:30 What she just said? She wants She wants some dick right now, like 31:36 fast food style, but she wants to hold out for the guy that she really likes because So if she really likes you, you're 31:41 fucked. No. Fuck. He was like, "Cuz I'm not getting any no 31:47 time soon. I got to No, it's you see that's the the thought you got to change. 31:52 Us guys, we do feel like that. We do think like that. We're like, "Yo, hold on." Like, you know, damn. Like, we we 31:59 do see we're like, "Okay, when I I remember there was this was one girl like I didn't court her or nothing 32:06 and then we were sleeping together, you know, and it was a lot easier, whatever." And then the guy that was 32:13 taking her to the five-star restaurant, she would hold out from like, you know, 32:18 he would court her, he would buy her expensive things and stuff like that, you know, didn't do anything with him. 32:24 But with me, it was like a different story, right? So I was like, for me it was confusing, 32:29 right? But then I also noticed when the girl really liked me or saw a future 32:34 with me, like that's when she would hold out, you know? And I think at that time I had the wrong interpretation of what dating 32:41 was. Mhm. Right. I think it's because also for a long time it was a lot easier for you to 32:47 get it. You're like this is normal. This is how it is. Right. Yeah. And and I'm like okay maybe that's why I 32:54 haven't been in like in a serious relationship where I could settle down for for a long time. Right. 33:00 Because I'm like I'm used to like okay I meet a girl we go on a date. Boom. And we do it. That's part that's right 33:07 routine become second nature. Become it became second nature but it's not the right way. It's just 33:12 that we didn't have healthy people to emulate dating at all. 33:18 Uhhuh. Right. You got pornography. You got um instant gratification. Yeah. Like just the way society has gone 33:25 like our generation. What do you feel about pornography? Do you watch it at all? Yes. Or are you someone that taps in to like 33:33 your own experience? Like my best friend, I love her, Roshelle. She's about to get married. Um, we we very 33:40 open with each other. We tell each other everything. And I'll be like, "Yeah, you know, I had to watch something the other 33:45 day and rub one out just cuz I needed I didn't want to think of some of the partners that I was with, right?" And she was like, "I never watch it." I was 33:52 like, "So, what do you do to get yourself off when you're by yourself?" She was like, "I literally just go in my mind." 33:57 And I'm like, "I get it, but like I was like, just your partner. So, what do you think of porn and the way that they say 34:02 we shouldn't watch it at all and that's so bad? Okay. So, I I'm coming from it from a 34:09 like the lens where I used to have the addiction. So, there's like I'm not speaking down to people that still have 34:17 that because I was there. But it is a brainwash because it's 34:22 distorting sexuality in the way it should be. It's objectifying women 34:28 and treating them at any which way and then there's sex trafficking in there and then they're acting. None of it is 34:34 real. There's no love or emotion behind what they're doing. So the orgasms are 34:41 mostly fake. All right, let me clear my browser. Delete the cookies and the cat. 34:47 Delete the cookies. I I don't do it as much, but But so it's teaching men and women a way 34:54 to have physical intercourse where it's very um like pounding fast. 35:00 Yeah. And the guys think it's easy to give a woman an orgasm when really 88% or 35:08 something like that, a woman can't even orgasm through penetration alone. Wow. So most of us 88%. 35:14 Yeah, around there. It's really high up through vaginal penetration. And so, 35:20 God, what a lot of women do cuz I used to be that person was like would be just faking the orgasm just to get it over 35:27 with because it's not even good anyway. And and yeah, so guys think it's easy for to get them off and then you're just 35:35 becoming like two porn stars and the woman's like, "Ah, she's faking it." 35:40 And it's so so we emulate that in sex. Yeah. And 35:46 I am not a fan of that hard ass pounding. Like I like a little roughness here and there, but like it's just 35:51 different. Like a different like choke me a little and like grab me and then go and then get and all of those things are a rhythm. A rhythm, 35:57 right? But if you're asking me about porn, yeah, like I think it is damaging 36:04 intimacy and people's sexuality because especially men when they they're so 36:09 fixated on it, they become more they graduate to more sexually deviant 36:15 categories and so they're watching more explicit or more violent 36:20 porn. And so once they have a woman in front of them and this could go both ways too. Once the per like a you have a 36:27 real live human in front of you that's gorgeous, beautiful body, big bone or whatever, it's not the same or like you 36:34 know with a woman. It's not the same because you're just you're hardwired on that 36:41 artificial dopamine because you're really becoming hyper sensitive to what you're watching visually. And so it 36:49 becomes hard to to to have the same fix in real life. 36:54 Yeah. Yeah. So I think also like I feel like a lot I heard it's changing people's brains too. Like people's 37:00 brains are like rotting. Uhhuh. Because of all the dopamine of all the dopamine hits you're you're 37:05 getting it from your phone, you know, like Yeah. With social media too. Social media. So it's hard to get it in real life 37:12 without all of that. Yeah. So like and people sometimes just rather jerk off or like masturbate 37:17 before and then they don't feel like going out or going on a date or doing anything because I already got my fix in. 37:23 Right. Right. I I know guys do that. Um Yeah. But just to finish what you were saying, I think um 37:30 so something that I did, I kind of just started weaning myself off. And so I think every now and then if you 37:37 want to go on and you know get yourself up but just don't look at it like look at it at the beginning and then 37:42 you know start touching yourself but don't orgasm while you're looking at it because there's also black magic 37:49 happening with it because they're taking people's most vital life force energy which is 37:54 the sexual energy and that's why the porn industry is multi-billion dollar because they're feeding off of men's 38:02 life force and making men weak out there cuz they're now controlling the sexual 38:07 energy through these, you know, this entertainment. That's what that's all it is is 38:13 entertainment and a distraction and then it's fucking up our intimacy out in the matrix 38:20 in the real life. Oh wow. Yeah. Because nowadays like they're saying like majority of the 38:25 people watch porn. It's like it's like it's like the whole human population is 38:32 on porn sites now. M yeah right. So it's like that before you had 38:37 to buy a magazine to watch porn or you had to like there was like there was barriers but now it's so easily 38:43 accessible but they say are you over 18? What person under 18 is going to be like 38:49 no I know I know and that's why it's free because now we're the products we 38:55 have everything. We have the only fans that it's soft porn or I don't know what 39:01 know the people that go. Oh, Instagram is soft porn these days. Instagram soft porn now. It's it's so much stuff. I you know 39:08 Playboy had asked me to do um a little only fans. Well, it's it's like a new forum. It's a 39:15 new forum. I did it for like I literally just got it taken off um like last week 39:22 because I I started to I started to do it. But I was like, it's Playboy. This is iconic. This top, 39:27 you could do whatever you want. You could post I wasn't posting topless. I wasn't giving them that. Like just regular like me in a bikini. So, you 39:34 know, here's some cheeks, you know, cleavage or just some sexy shoots. And I made like $2,500 during the 3 4 months. 39:42 Warn you. And then I guess I must have posted this one pick and I'm at the beach and they were like maybe there were people in the 39:48 background so that flagged it. And then I'm like and they were like, "All right, we'll put it back." back and then they weren't letting me put it back and they 39:55 were like, "Oh, your cover photo." I'm like, "My cover photo is me in a bathing suit." Like maybe I have big areola, so 40:01 maybe a little areola was peeking out. But I'm like, "But this is Playboy." I took that as a sign to just take it 40:07 down. Cuz I was just like, number one, I wasn't seeing myself posting all the time cuz if I'm going to post, it needs 40:13 to be a professional shoot because I don't want to just be in my house, you know, like doing the same thing over 40:18 and over. And then the messages that I was getting are just not something that I really, 40:23 you know, the personal message you got. Oh my god, this Irish boy wanted me to 40:30 be his like slave master. Like I want to be your slave. I want to, you know, can 40:35 you can you tell me can you talk to me create? He wanted me to dominate him via videos or and I was just like, I don't 40:42 want to send videos out like that, especially me being what we call a 40:47 public figure, you know, everybody knows is out here. And I was like, it's this the lifestyle 40:52 and the toes and the things and the send me this. And I was just like, damn, these $2,500 were kind of nice 40:59 these past few months, but you don't want that attention. I don't want that attention. I don't 41:04 mind being sexy. I don't regret trying it cuz people have wanted me to get on Only Fans for the longest cuz of the 41:10 yoga and I'm just like I don't want that in my resume. Mhm. And it I just Yeah. I didn't like it. I 41:17 didn't like that type of attention. And now that I took it down, now they're like back on my Instagram. But where's your Playboy page? 41:24 What do you think? Where's your Playboy? What? Talk about that whole dominatrix and dominating somebody. Where does that 41:30 come from? you know, like is that a good thing to practice or like 41:36 I think it's it's a it's a looking for those environments like workshops or 41:42 with working with a dominatrix or whatever. I think it's a safe place to explore your kinks, you know, and I I 41:50 think the people that don't explore that become serial killers. And think that's what it is, 41:56 of course. And we see we also see like a lot of like like powerful men in dominations like they want to be 42:02 Yeah. because they control all day long and they're always leading in these big leadership executive positions and so 42:08 they, you know, they always have people agreeing with them left and right, men and women. And so they want to have an 42:16 experience where where somebody's like really in control, 42:21 where they're the most vulnerable. Now, that's not my like forte. So you don't want to like drag somebody 42:27 in a leash. You ever done that? I've I've been all around that. I used to live in San Francisco. So I used to go to the Fulsome Street Fairs where 42:33 they would have those things all of out in the street on the 42:38 out in the street. I would not do that. people urinating in the other people's mouth. Like I've seen 42:45 what kind what kind of condition? No, this is like real life. 42:51 Yeah, cuz you work in tech as well. Are you done with that? I used to work in tech, but I was living in Silicon Valley like back over there 42:56 where they're more liberated with all of that. And you see them like they would like pee on. 43:02 Uhhuh. It was at a fair where it was it was a fair. You ever spit in somebody's mouth? Isn't 43:08 that crazy? So, so much is happening here. They have a a dominatrix fair. It's a B BDSM the largest BDSM festival 43:17 in the world happens in San Francisco. There's a festival for this. Yeah. And it's mostly men. I will say 43:23 it's mostly men, gay, bisexuals, and then there's, you 43:28 know, the other the the the bystanders, the warrior. I'm a voyer. Yeah. I like watching. 43:35 Yeah. So, you go to the swingers clubs and you just watch. I have been. Yes. And I'm also I've never been to one. And I'm also in the tantra community 43:41 where they have certain events where things can happen but within boundaries 43:47 where there's agreements where it's it's more like a conscious container where 43:52 people understand. Got it. Got it. Got it. That makes sense. 43:57 So you've been to these tantra events and there's people like like having sex 44:02 in front of everybody. Um, 44:08 there's designated sections in the for that for for people to cuddle. 44:13 Yeah. For people to massage. It could be between two people. It could be a group just playing. 44:19 Yeah. Everything consensual. Yes. Exactly. I've heard of them. I've never been to them, but I've I've heard of them. 44:26 And I was like, I'm actually open to like maybe one day like being a little 44:32 fly on the wall. Uh-huh. I'll be a Voyager. Well, I will adore the explor of that. 44:37 Yes, they got the couch for that. So, you could just sit right there and watch. They have a couch so you sit there 44:44 area. Yeah. Do you ever feel uncomfortable walking in? Like, when was the first time walking into something like that? You're 44:49 like, were you scared? No. I mean, it it doesn't happen like you walk in and then boom, it starts. 44:55 It's usually like when I go to these things, they lead up to it after many 45:01 days of training or workshops and stuff, but if you go to a swinger club or sex 45:07 club, it's not going to have that same level of consciousness. Yeah. It's going to be kind of like a free-for-all and you kind of just 45:14 I would rather try the first one that you were mentioning. You've been to swingers, please? 45:19 I have. Yeah, I've been to sex clubs. And you never joined? 45:25 joined. I've never Let me see. Have I ever had sex at a sex club? Yes, but not 45:31 with others. I've always just with my partner. You can just go and be with each other 45:38 and look and flirt or I would not mind doing that. Um 45:44 Yeah. And get dressed up heels and your sexy outfit. Your leather if you want. whatever guy 45:51 to with your panties or your favorite boxers or so you wearing your couple and you be like you ever done that rose 45:57 I would like to I I haven't you know why you haven't guys um well maybe the people that I've been 46:03 with or like it's just it just hasn't been presented to me like I I haven't had that opportunity 46:10 I don't know the the whole concept makes me uncomfortable how come it's just I feel like first of all I 46:17 don't want to take my girl somewhere where is going to be normal to be fucking in 46:22 front of everybody, right? I think I like it to be intimate between her and I and that's it. 46:28 You see what I'm saying? So, when you go in there, it's not like uh you're seeing everybody on the floor 46:34 having sex. It's not like that. They usually It's That's how it is when I see it in porn. So, like the last event I went to, they 46:42 had Shabbari happening. Shabari is the Japanese rope tying art, 46:47 like bondage. And it's very sexy and sensual and and 46:52 what is shabari? I don't get it. So the woman hangs from this thing from 46:58 the ceiling and and then he starts tying her up but at the same time while he was 47:03 tying her up he's like licking her very sensual. Yeah. And it was like a very tasteful 47:08 show. And then after that then there's rooms where people can go and get lost. 47:15 There's a jacuzzi, there's a steam room. And then there's Peep and Tom holes. 47:20 Literally, when you said that, I'm like, there has to be a hole somewhere for you to be able to watch. Yeah. 47:25 Sounds like a diddy party. Uh, a white party. 47:31 How do you get invited to these? No, you just go. But you could go on couples nights. So, on couples nights, 47:37 then you know that the man that the men that are in there came with a woman. But 47:43 I know that sometimes men might have a female friend come in so that way they can go and be fucking creeps. 47:50 Yeah. So that can happen. So So what about singles nights? How does that go? You just go single nights 47:56 be like, "Yo, this is going to be a single night." They have those, right? I um probably 48:02 you wouldn't know. Yeah. I've always I haven't ever gone alone to a sex club. I think 48:08 and actually every time I hear somebody talking about it, they are going with someone. Yeah. whether they're a couple or not. I 48:15 had a friend um that told me that she went like to a few of them. She wasn't 48:20 with the guy at all. I know for a fact. Was she with a friend? She was like she went with a friend. No, 48:26 with a guy. She went with a guy friend. I know. I know that that you have a heart out. You know, I know it's it's 48:33 5:00 right now. Um we could go until like 5 48:38 20 because then I'll just order an Uber. Okay. Okay. You're like 5 minutes away from here, right? 10 minutes. 48:44 10 minutes in car. Oh, okay. Yeah. You know, what is it? What is it that you want to teach people? What is it 48:49 that you want like people to like What would you want people to get from this conversation that they could know 48:55 about you and and and they could elevate their life, their sex life with a partner or intimacy or stuff like that. 49:02 Okay. Yeah. So, I mean, you mentioned the the girl that was afraid, you know, she afraid to get intimate with you 49:08 without drinking alcohol. I teach people how to with cannabis, okay? 49:14 And so, but like very small amounts where it gets the people open and I 49:20 promise you, you will go a lot deeper in intimacy than you haven't ever have before 49:25 because it can get to the point where you're now hyper sensitive. 49:31 Okay? So, you're experiencing more sensitivity. Um I I and I guide the 49:36 couple around practices to do and it doesn't have to be what if they what if one of them doesn't 49:41 smoke like let's say I'm with someone could just edible. Yeah. So I or a tea. 49:47 So I give it through a THC oral sublingual um oil base. So either that or the 49:55 inhalation or both or one or the other. Well or none at all. like it's just an 50:01 enhancer and an optional enhancer, but it's a beautiful compliment because 50:07 sexuality and cannabis really do go hand in hand. And so that's that's my signature 50:13 method, high tantra. So I add the cannabis to it. Also take one of your courses. Are you doing any 50:18 courses online like teaching people how to do it online? I'm creating one right now. Okay. where it's teaching a couple on how to give 50:26 the art of tantra massage on each other. I need to find me a Maya so I could just 50:31 bring them to you. So you can just come to me by yourself. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Also like I I don't know if you want me 50:38 to say this, but I did two ceremonies with you, right? And then one of the ceremonies I 50:44 did with her is like we had we had mushrooms too, right? We did a mushroom. Yeah. I don't I don't 50:50 really smoke weed like that, but we did I did the mushroom and and for me it was like uh like it was like an experience 50:57 that I needed. I feel like I remember like I got emotional 51:03 like like a baby. I could become a baby sometime. I'm a I'm a big baby. Yeah. You were still you were healing 51:08 the the feminine in your life and I was like, "Oh, maybe this is what I needed a feminine in my life." And you 51:14 know, she provided that. And I feel like you created a safe space for me. I didn't know that that there was a part 51:21 of me that needed something that was that was missing in my whole life. Proud of you. You know why? Cuz the 51:27 other day the past like I keep telling him I was like, "When are you going to settle down? When you're going to find yourself a girl and he was like, "Nah, I 51:32 don't want one." No, no, no. But you said something last night. Oh, we're in the club. I was like, "You know what? I'm ready to settle down cuz 51:40 I was like, I don't know what pulls the trigger, but I am here for it." Cuz you want to go home with someone, right? 51:45 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or have somebody waiting for you. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Cuz I was like, we're we're at 51:51 the club. I'm like, I'm not I don't want to do this. So, like he's he's he's in finally 51:57 because come on, you're smart, you're handsome, you're funny. Get get yourself a lady that's 52:03 going to nurture you. I think I Well, I think what I got from this conversation is, oh man, like I 52:09 think it brought me back cuz we talk about this a lot. I think it what brought me back is, oh, wait a minute. 52:14 Like, slow the fuck down. Slow the fuck down. get to know the person. Fuck. 52:20 I promise you the sex is going to be way more hotter when you when you cultivate 52:25 all of that desire and the anticipation. Yeah. Come on. This girl is not lying, y'all. 52:31 And I think I think and where I fuck where I fucked up at like I'm really like realizing that now 52:37 was was like, okay, you go out once, you have sex after that. Like you don't have 52:42 sex, I the hell I see, right? I forget about it. probably like wait a minute 52:48 like I'm doing this all wrong. That's not how it goes because you're I was conditioned for such a long time that 52:54 this is how it is, right? And I think culturally we have this thing that we be like if you don't 53:00 you see what I'm saying? So, so I'm like, hold on, wait a minute. 53:06 There's a a level to this. Like, I'm getting to know this person. If we get there, we'll get there. But like there's 53:13 we need I need to get to know this person. I got to really like the person first and then we get there. 53:20 Yeah. Right. And as you start elevating in that consciousness that okay this is the way it used to be and let me take it back 53:27 there. You are going to meet women that are going to be like why isn't he making any moves and they're just caught 53:33 up in their normal ways. And you could lead by just lead by example and say hey I just want to get to know 53:39 you. And then they're going to be curious as to why you don't want them. And they may actually start liking you 53:45 even more because they're not used to guys slow, you know, putting the brakes on 53:51 and taking a slow time. Yeah. So really, it's a win-win. It's a 53:57 win-win. And the ones that fall off, they're not meant for you. They're just not at that level. 54:02 You're right. It's okay. Shapora, how do people find you? Okay. So, Instagram at zapora.the high 54:10 priestess. My website is hi tantra.com. So, hi h i g h tantra. T a n t r a.com. 54:21 And how else? I think. All right. Oh, oh, look for me on Sacred Aeros. 54:28 Okay. Zapora. Zapora at Sacred Aeros. E R O S. Black 54:35 Rose, I appreciate you coming through like I am so glad that this is the episode that you bring. 54:40 I know you're I said you perfect. Listen, this was I love it. I love it. I'm glad that I got to like know you 54:47 like deep and and and hear you and see what you do. And I just want to say 54:52 thank you for being a superhero in this world. You are amazing. This is so dope. And it 54:59 kind of just reassures what I've been thinking of how I see society work and 55:05 and you know proud of myself for not like letting me follow and and and 55:11 forget that I am the way that I am for a reason and that there are more people like that and that you know we do got to 55:18 just keep waiting for that person that is for us and you know and guys she 55:23 ain't lying orgasmic. All right and also I appreciate you being here. You're so fun. Thank you. 55:29 We're going to do more episodes with your ass. Of course. I'm here anytime. I We needed your energy today. 55:36 If you like the conversation, write down what you learned, what you thought. Continue the conversation in the comments. I read them. 55:43 We're here every Wednesday. Hey, and subscribe. Give me five stars in the podcast everywhere.